82: ‘Remember Everything’ by Five Finger Death Punch

Sara is a grown-up now and tries not to think about her childhood anymore. That becomes difficult her brother and sister are suddenly standing in front of her door.

Their parents had big expectations to their children. Expectations that no one could live up to, as Sara realised one fateful day. So she stopped trying and became an outcast. It worked – for her.

Her siblings were less lucky. Now having an example of failure readily at hand, their parents pressed their other children even harder. Sara didn’t blame herself then. She did what she had to to survive. And it drove the siblings apart.

Now Sara regrets and tries to tell them. They’re not interested in hearing it. From what they’ve seen, she hasn’t changed one bit and likely won’t. But they need to speak to her and asks to be let in.

That activates Sara’s anger and she refuses. She closes the door in their faces For a moment the siblings stand there with a barrier between them, forever marked by their childhood, wondering how, if at all, anything could have gone differently.

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Once again it past midnight. But when I schedule posts they get published two hours later than I set it to, so by that logic, I’m still on time… barely. EDIT: Excellent! Apparently it now takes the two-hour delay into account even when publishing and I am in fact actually, not technically, on time.

81: ‘I’m a Lady’ by Meghan Trainor

Finally, it has happened. Sara is over her break-up. She has her confidence back and she can instil it in her students.

She teaches young girls to dance. But more than that she teaches them to believe in themselves and stand out from the crowd. She calls this being a lady – and leads by example.

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And yes, this should have been up yesterday. I wish I could give you a better excuse than ‘busy’, but that would be a long explanation.

79: ‘The Monster’ by Eminem ft. Rihanna

Slim is not a young man anymore. But he is still a musician, who reaches a lot of young people.

Among these is Sara. She became a fan when her personal life turned upside down. She needed someone to turn to. That became Slim because he wrote about the things that she felt. About having the mind wander off to dark places and liking it there. About trying to get attention and getting it – but at a price. Of course, for him, it was positive attention, but for her, not so much. About throwing attitude in the face of adversity.

He helped her then when she lost her friend. He helps her now, that she has lost her lover.

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79: ‘What If’ by Kate Winslet

Declaring that you’re going to change, and actually changing are very different beasts. Sara is getting stronger, but some days are better than others. Today is a bad day,

She is rummaging trough some old things when she comes across a photo of her and Will, her best friend from her school days.

The friendship ended, when they became too different. It happened at a time in her life where she realised she had to become more independent. Will responded to this by becoming controlling. He had always been the responsible adult of the two, but never like this. So she ended the friendship. It seemed like a good idea to end it at the time. But now she thinks back and wonders if they could have stayed friends. Maybe she could have told him to back off in a kinder way so that he would have understood. Maybe he would still be her most close and loyal friend, her responsible anchor.

Well, they’ll never know now, will they?

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78: ‘Ignorance’ by Paramore

Once upon a time, two children, a boy and a girl, was best friends. They stuck together. Wrote their names in blood.

But then the girl changed. Her personal life turned to shit pretty much overnight – and she reacted to that by becoming an outcast, who didn’t care what anyone thought or said about her.

She, Sara, saw this as a good change. Her friend, Will, didn’t see it like that. He saw her change as her becoming a bad person. He started telling her about every bad thing, she did and how sad it made him feel. This tactic usually worked. They could always be honest with each other and cared how their actions affected the other.

But not this time. She snapped and shouted at him that he just couldn’t handle that they were different people.

And so he instead started withdrawing from her, essentially treating her like a stranger. This only made her angrier. But fine. If he wanted to be strangers, it was fine by her.

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Also, I’m up to date, so I’m back to just my weekly chapter arriving on Mondays.

77: ‘A Little Bit Stronger’ by Sara Evans

Declaring that you’re going to change, and actually changing are very different beasts. So Sara soon learned.

She had kicked out her lover and sent him home to his wife. Decided to find confidence within herself. In reality, the love she felt for him has left her nearly unable to leave her bed and imitate being okay. Songs remind her of him and bring her to tears.

But she is getting stronger, little by little. As time passes she gets better at simply turning off the radio when the songs come on.

She doesn’t cry anymore. Her heart is still badly wounded and it will never fully heal, but she is stronger without him and getting stronger every day.

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74: ‘God is a DJ’ by P!nk

A woman is crawling out of bed. She has just kicked out her lover, telling him to go home to his wife. She looks at herself in the mirror and reflects on who she has become. So ready to believe empty promises and give up everything.

She has to turn a new leaf. Or rather an old leave. She decides to become, who she once was; an outcast, who treated life as a party, spoke her mind, was at ease with her lot in life and didn’t care what people thought.

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