2018, chapter 18: ‘Sick Boy’ by The Chainsmokers (nr. 130)

Alan is a young man now. His family life is complicated and rather dysfunctional. His parents, both proud people who don’t give up, are always fighting, but never leave each other. Alan gives himself credit for that. He has kept them together by being overly compassionate towards them.

This is not normal nor healthy. This is realised by everyone around him. They tell him to get away from all that.  They lie and tell him, that he’s not actually helping them. A fairytale to get him to give up. But he knows what he’s in the middle of. He chooses to live in this prison, and just because they don’t have the guts to do that, doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t. And they overreact to even the smallest fight. They should see how bad it gets at home…

It’s not like they care anyway. They just like to watch how his family interacts and call him “the sick boy” behind his back. Suit themselves.

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Chapter 16: ‘Tired’ by Alan Walker feat. Gavin James (nr. 128)

Taylor and Will have a rocky relationship. Problem is, they’re not the only people in this fight. They have a son named Alan, standing on the sidelines.

Alan is so young, that his parents think they can hide their tears from him and pretend to be fine, but old enough for that not to be true at all. Alan sees it and feels helpless. He has noticed the packed bags, that has been standing there for weeks now. It was packed at midnight, so he didn’t see who packed them.

They don’t realise what leaving would mean. So he does what he can do to love them both to remind them. They both tell him that they’re alright. He sees straight through their white lies.  But he lets them lie because then they dare to be vulnerable around him. They don’t hide.

They’re being pulled apart and losing themselves. But he can put them back together. He just has to love them and wait.

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2018, chapter 11: ‘I’m Yours’ by Alessia Cara (nr. 123)

Taylor has made her ex her slave through magic. She did this because he had tricked her into being docile by being jealous and buying her love. He had controlled her, and when that no longer worked, he had kicked her out and kept her away from their child.

Now she has their child back. And she controls him completely.

Problem is that her enslavement involves him being completely and utterly in love with her and constantly trying to charm her. And damn is that man charming. She falls right back in love with him. She chooses to remove her control over him. And shockingly, he still wants her back. He still calls her beautiful.

And it pisses her off that he has still this effect on her. Melting her heart of iron and tearing down her walls of rudeness. She was so used to boys using her in the past and reacted to that by manipulating them. But Will was always real with her. When they first met, she felt lonely. He made her happy. So happy, she spent their time apart daydreaming about their life together.

So she’ll give him a chance. But he has to handle her with caution. Few have made her feel this way or pushed her as far as he has. The thought of falling for him again scares her, but if he promises to catch her, it okay. If he does that, she’s his. It still pisses her off, though.

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2018, chapter 9: ‘See You Again’ by Carrie Underwood (nr. 121)

Taylor has done something so horrifying on her revenge mission against her ex that it has made Perry, the man who loves her and has followed along, rethink his choice to do so. And Taylor can see that. So she tells him that he is free to leave, tells him goodbye and turns around.

And he’s gone, fading away into the setting sun. It breaks her heart, but she carries on and doesn’t cry. Because she’s not doing this for him, or her ex for that matter. She is doing this so she can see her child. And she will see it again, whatever she has to do for that to happen.

The child is the stars and light she follows. She carries her child with her in her heart and mind, until she sees it again. And thus she never feels lonely in the shadows.

At night she listens to the echoes in the wind calling her back to the time where they lived near the water and was a happy family. Where she had her child with her. She smiles at the thought.

She will do whatever it takes – even if it means losing another man she has loved.

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2018, chapter 7: ‘Treat You Better’ by Shawn Mendes (nr. 119)

There are two sides to every story. So far Taylor’s has been told. This is Will, her ex’, side.

He had become more distant and didn’t listen much anymore. He can’t run from that. And her overreactions became more severe as a result. So he promised to be easier on her IF she tried to control it. She didn’t and their relationship suffered for it.

But he had good reason to be distant. He was working on a way to control time. A way to talk to his deceased mother again. And thus, he failed to uphold his part of the deal as well.

In the end, the relationship suffered for the distance between them, and he took the difficult decision to leave her.

Problem was, he knew what kind of ex she was. He has seen it himself and heard stories. He couldn’t let their child experience that. So he lied and told her that they would still be friends. Then he made sure she would never get near him or their child again.

Of course, that made it worse. She became consumed with revenge and followed him around, stalking him from the shadows. Always letting him know that she was there and that he’d better look out.

At this point, however, he finds comfort in that. He still loves her and having her close by makes him feel better. He has also seen her crying. That makes him hopeful that she still has sweetness in her.

Recently she’s with another man though. They seem romantically linked. Will doesn’t like it. He decides that this might be the time to talk to Taylor again. And he is far enough with his work that he could focus on her again. He is now able to stop time at least.

So he goes to talk with her. She tells him that she wants to be with Perry. Will doesn’t believe her and offers that she can come back and be with him. He knows he can treat her better than Perry can. He promises to not let her down again. She just needs to take his hand, and she’ll get back the life she has been missing.

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Also, I literally fell asleep in front of my computer just as I was about to publish this. I’m sorry.

105: ‘Live Forever’ by The Band Perry

Will and Taylor are having a baby. This makes Taylor reflect one night.

She has dodged commitment for years, created warlike fights, so she wouldn’t get hurt and fought stability off as if she was a ship unwilling to reach shore.

Now she is ready for commitment. Will will be her only one. This time she wants it all, live forever with him, really let herself fall.

Her love for Will is like a storm inside, an electrified force, a thunder in her heart.

She also thinks about the uncertainty of this prospect. Forever is a long time. This could be a dream, but there are also so many ways, this could end.

But it’s fine. If they stay young and crazy, everything will be fine.

She tells this to Will the following evening.

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103: ‘ Black Or White’ by Michael Jackson

Will is taking Taylor out celebrating the fact that Taylor has become pregnant (he calls it a Saturday bang), something Will sees as a miracle.

Will is black and Taylor is white, and someone comments on that in disbelief. The stranger’s disbelief can’t bring Will down today though. Will declares that they are “one and the same” and that he believes in equality. As long as people are creating a better world for his unborn child, it doesn’t matter if they’re black or white.

His statements about race get a journalist interested. So he does an interview for the Saturday Sun where he talks about equality.

Will is tired of racism. Of all the issues, that divide creates. Of being judged for his colour. And he refuses to think about it and isn’t scared of anyone that would hurt him for it. He knows everyone has a tough time getting by, regardless of colour. And he’ll be their brother no matter if they’re black or white.

What does make him angry is people claiming to agree with him, while clearly judging him by his race.

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