2018, chapter 45: ‘Before He Cheats’ by Carrie Underwood (nr. 157)

Carrie has lost her husband. He was the one to leave her, but it was not a surprise to her. She knew he was cheating on her.

It had led her to stand outside a bar he had gone into.

She thought about how he was probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, and she was probably getting frisky. He was probably buying her some fruity little drink ’cause she couldn’t shoot whiskey. Then he was probably up behind her with a pool stick, showing her how to shoot a combo. She was probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke. She was probably saying “I’m drunk”, making him think, he was gonna get lucky. So he was probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo right now…

She was furious and looking for revenge. So she dug her keys into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive and carved her name into his leather seats. She took a Louisville slugger to both headlights and slashed a hole in all four tires.

She smiled to herself. Maybe next time he’d think before he cheated. She might have saved the next girl a little trouble from him. At the very least, he wouldn’t cheat on her again.


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