2018, chapter 18: ‘Sick Boy’ by The Chainsmokers (nr. 130)

Alan is a young man now. His family life is complicated and rather dysfunctional. His parents, both proud people who don’t give up, are always fighting, but never leave each other. Alan gives himself credit for that. He has kept them together by being overly compassionate towards them.

This is not normal nor healthy. This is realised by everyone around him. They tell him to get away from all that.  They lie and tell him, that he’s not actually helping them. A fairytale to get him to give up. But he knows what he’s in the middle of. He chooses to live in this prison, and just because they don’t have the guts to do that, doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t. And they overreact to even the smallest fight. They should see how bad it gets at home…

It’s not like they care anyway. They just like to watch how his family interacts and call him “the sick boy” behind his back. Suit themselves.

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Chapter 16: ‘Tired’ by Alan Walker feat. Gavin James (nr. 128)

Taylor and Will have a rocky relationship. Problem is, they’re not the only people in this fight. They have a son named Alan, standing on the sidelines.

Alan is so young, that his parents think they can hide their tears from him and pretend to be fine, but old enough for that not to be true at all. Alan sees it and feels helpless. He has noticed the packed bags, that has been standing there for weeks now. It was packed at midnight, so he didn’t see who packed them.

They don’t realise what leaving would mean. So he does what he can do to love them both to remind them. They both tell him that they’re alright. He sees straight through their white lies.  But he lets them lie because then they dare to be vulnerable around him. They don’t hide.

They’re being pulled apart and losing themselves. But he can put them back together. He just has to love them and wait.

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2018, chapter 13: ‘Please Don’t Leave Me’ by P!nk (nr. 125)

Will and Taylor have a complicated history. They have just gotten back together, and they’re back to fighting.

Will, who has kicked Taylor out countless times, is yelling insults louder and meaner than ever, still hurting from the time that she seemed to have moved on and was dating someone else.

Taylor has realised herself that she has never taken this drastic measures as taking his free will before. Even now she is angry at him for tricking her and is being downright nasty towards him.

Their relationship has become a contest. The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest. Each insists they don’t need the other. And since both of these people are rather powerful, that competition could get scary, if taken too far.

In the end, though, they apologise, say that they really do need the other, because they’re the perfect punching bag. So each makes sure to tell the other how beautiful they are and beg them not to leave.

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2018, chapter 11: ‘I’m Yours’ by Alessia Cara (nr. 123)

Taylor has made her ex her slave through magic. She did this because he had tricked her into being docile by being jealous and buying her love. He had controlled her, and when that no longer worked, he had kicked her out and kept her away from their child.

Now she has their child back. And she controls him completely.

Problem is that her enslavement involves him being completely and utterly in love with her and constantly trying to charm her. And damn is that man charming. She falls right back in love with him. She chooses to remove her control over him. And shockingly, he still wants her back. He still calls her beautiful.

And it pisses her off that he has still this effect on her. Melting her heart of iron and tearing down her walls of rudeness. She was so used to boys using her in the past and reacted to that by manipulating them. But Will was always real with her. When they first met, she felt lonely. He made her happy. So happy, she spent their time apart daydreaming about their life together.

So she’ll give him a chance. But he has to handle her with caution. Few have made her feel this way or pushed her as far as he has. The thought of falling for him again scares her, but if he promises to catch her, it okay. If he does that, she’s his. It still pisses her off, though.

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2018, chapter 10: ‘Cheap Thrills’ by Sia (nr. 122)

When Will started dating Taylor, she seemed magical. That was because, well, she was. She had an aura of perfection that made people see the kind of girl they wanted her to be. It rose like a song inside her and made her able to control them. She learned to control it to some degree – and to use it to control men. When she danced, her control over men becomes stronger. And she liked using that when picking up men.

At its core, though, it is a curse that she has to keep in check. In a relationship, it is difficult to tell if they’re seeing her or their perfect dream girl. In order to test when it became real, she would act crazy and jealous. As soon as he realised, she knew it was real. The stronger her love, the better she was at keeping it in check.

This lead to her boyfriends breaking up with her and getting back together with her over and over again. And so it started with Will. But with Will, it became more real than ever before. After countless breakups, he became clear-headed enough to break up with her for good.

That made Taylor realise that she couldn’t lose him, so she made him feel jealous, making no use of magical control. It worked and they stayed together for years, even had a child.

But then Will broke up with her again and even cut her off from seeing her child. He believed that he did this for the child, but it resulted in Taylor following them around from a distance. Possibly because of her fading love (and thus increasing her control over him), he allowed her to stalk them.

But then, he saw her with another man and jealousy worked its own magic once again. So he confronted Taylor and promised that she could have him and their old life back.

And Taylor realised that just like her genuine love had removed her control over Will, it had put her under his control instead. She suddenly sees his generous gifts as another way to keep her docile. And she was not going to let him win her back like this.

So she stops controlling herself entirely. Like turning on a radio, the song inside her rises to new levels. She dances and takes complete control of his mind, makes him completely devoted to her. He becomes her slave. And she enjoys actively using her curse again.

Her lover, the only man she has actively tried to push away was not impressed with her actions. She can live with losing him though.

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This is now the second time falling asleep in my chair has made the chapter late. I have to realise that this is how my life looks now. So temporarily the chapter is published Tuesday morning.

2018, chapter 9: ‘See You Again’ by Carrie Underwood (nr. 121)

Taylor has done something so horrifying on her revenge mission against her ex that it has made Perry, the man who loves her and has followed along, rethink his choice to do so. And Taylor can see that. So she tells him that he is free to leave, tells him goodbye and turns around.

And he’s gone, fading away into the setting sun. It breaks her heart, but she carries on and doesn’t cry. Because she’s not doing this for him, or her ex for that matter. She is doing this so she can see her child. And she will see it again, whatever she has to do for that to happen.

The child is the stars and light she follows. She carries her child with her in her heart and mind, until she sees it again. And thus she never feels lonely in the shadows.

At night she listens to the echoes in the wind calling her back to the time where they lived near the water and was a happy family. Where she had her child with her. She smiles at the thought.

She will do whatever it takes – even if it means losing another man she has loved.

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2018, chapter 8: ‘How You Remind Me’ by Nickelback (nr. 120)

Perry knows how Taylor responded to Wills offer. She comes back grinning about her actions, even as she apologises to Perry.

Perry doesn’t see the humour. He wanted this story to be different. A voice starts screaming in his head: “Are we having fun yet?”. He is suddenly reminded of, what he has gotten himself into. What it has made him. What he has sought at the bottom of every bottle to forget.

He didn’t succeed in being the wise man and removing her darkness. And following her around, stealing food to survive, never felt good. Falling in love with Taylor was a mistake. Following his heart was a mistake. He was blinded by love and saw that before. But now he feels it too.

And she knew how much his love for her had made him accept. That’s why she’s apologising now, even though it seems to kill her to do so.

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