2018, chapter 42: ‘Too Good At Goodbyes’ by Sam Smith (nr. 154)

Will is trying to get Taylor back.

Taylor isn’t interested: “You must think that I’m stupid. You must think that I’m a fool. You must think that I’m new to this. But I have seen this all before.

I’m never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me, ’cause every time I open up, it hurts. So I’m never gonna get too close to you, even when I mean the most to you, in case you go and leave me in the dirt.

I know you’re thinking I’m heartless. I know you’re thinking I’m cold. I’m just protecting my innocence. I’m just protecting my soul. Every time you hurt me, the less I cry. Every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry. Every time you walk out, the less I love you. Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true.”

She says goodbye again, having gotten way too good at it.

Will is shocked. She isn’t supposed to remember the old timeline

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2018, Chapter 41: ‘Human’ by Christina Perri (nr.153)

Chainsmoker is the leader of an army. She controls her troops with magic, and it’s weighing on her.

But she believes in her cause and gladly carries this burden. She can fake a smile, force a laugh and generally pretend she is okay and be the strong leader if it frees her people.

But she is only human. And one day she’s had enough. One day she is listening to her demons and suddenly it feels like she has knives in her heart. She falls apart…

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2018, Chapter 40: ‘Hold Me Down’ by Halsey (nr. 152)

Chainsmoker has magical powers. They are tough to live with. They enable her to command others, but they also command her. When she speaks, it’s because the demons in her head want her to and it comes out mechanically. And she needs them to control her army.

She got her powers from the devil in a three-piece. She sold her soul to get them. He told that she was holy, but he knew what he was selling her, and didn’t tell her how it would hold her down and knock her out.

So now she is barely holding it together, feeling helpless and powerful at the same time. But she is running out of time, the demons tell her. She has to keep fighting, even at this cost.

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2018, chapter 39: ‘God Is A Woman’ by Ariana Grande (nr. 151)

Little Mix and Chainsmoker is fighting a warit is tough on Chainsmoker, but Little Mix is enjoying it.

She has a lover. A lover who worships her as a God. He loves how she moves and touch him. He knows how she wants it because she tells him.

And she can be free from worry and caring what other people think about her and want her to be. She will flourish in spite.

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2018, chapter 38: ‘Lithium’ by Evanescence (nr. 150)

History wants to happen. So when one sister gets rid of a curse, the other is cursed instead. In her, it turns into the ability to convince people to do as she wishes. She has kept in check with something called Lithium. But after she broke up with her lover, she needed it to rally her troops, who formerly had been a group of violent individuals creating havoc. She turned them into an army fighting a war. And she has to keep using her powers to keep them motivated.

But like with her sister, the powers have as much control over her, as she has over them. She feels empty, sad and wanting something real. At the same time, though, she feels powerful and truly herself in a way she couldn’t with Lithium. Lithium locked her up inside and made her feel less.

She loves her sadness and darkness and finds herself in it. But at the same time, she hates it and wishes she could let it go.

She invites another man into her bed, so she doesn’t have to sleep alone. But he showcases her emptiness rather than hide it. She lashes out and blames him for not saying he loves her.

He cowers but does not leave. She sees his reaction, forgives him and calls him Darling. After all, anything is better than to be alone.

Once she is alone again, she curls up in a corner. She can feel that her having these powers, and feeling this, is wrong somehow. Something is wrong with her

But she needs her powers, needs to let them loose, to get what she wants. She has to fall into this feeling and keep the fight going.

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2018, chapter 37: ‘Marry Me’ by Thomas Rhett (nr. 149)

Eminem‘s long-time friend is getting married – to another.

It hurts. It hurts to see her carefully plan it all. Her granddaddy preaching the service. Magnolias out in the country. Not too many people (she wants to save her daddy some money).

It hurts to get the invitation, a sign that it is too late. He remembered the night he almost kissed her. He always wondered if she felt the same way.

It hurts to see her in her dress, greeting her guests.

He could confess his feelings.  Instead, he wishes her the best. He doesn’t want to mess it up.

Instead, he’ll wear a black suit and a black tie and hide out in the back. He’ll do a strong shot of whisky straight out the flask and try to make it through without crying so nobody will see his pain.

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2018, chapter 36: ‘Walk On Water’ by Eminem feat. Beyonce (nr. 148)

Civil war has broken out. On one side is Chainsmoker and Little Mix and their heathens. They champion freedom from attachment and society.

On the other side, of the orderly society, we find Eminem. He is a master of words. He inspires his army trough song. He does so well for years and garners legacy, love and respect. He puts up an exhaustive persona that people look up to – and that he now has trouble living up to. He has set the standard too high for him to keep up. It feels like he hits the mark but when he listens to it after it is shown to the public, he picks it apart. It now sounds like garbage. The rhyme has to be perfect and the delivery flawless. But it can’t always be. And he is terrified to let down people. And people are starting to criticise his songs.

Chainsmoker and Little Mix have noticed this and now make mocking him a part of their strategy. And they succeed in stripping him of his confidence.

So he answers by speaking openly to his supporters. He’s only human just like the rest of them. He can only walk on water when it freezes. He can be juvenile, goof and jest. He is not God-sent like Nas, Rakim, Pac, B.I.G., James Todd Smith or Prince. He makes mistake and feels unworthy of their belief in him. But he’s doing his best to meet their expectations. So he doesn’t care about his opponents’ scorn. The only person who’s scorn would matter, is Deshaun. And even them burning down his Dresden home does nothing to affect him. And no matter how they depict him as a failure, that his popularity is fading, he won’t give up without a fight. He needs this to stay sane. He’ll decide when it’s his final bow. And when he does fall, he will neither cry nor pout.

And he finishes off by saying, that while he is only a man, he is godlike. He, Chainsmoker and Little Mix are not alike. He inspires better than they do. He wrote “Stan”!

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