2018, chapter 38: ‘Lithium’ by Evanescence (nr. 150)

History wants to happen. So when one sister gets rid of a curse, the other is cursed instead. In her, it turns into the ability to convince people to do as she wishes. She has kept in check with something called Lithium. But after she broke up with her lover, she needed it to rally her troops, who formerly had been a group of violent individuals creating havoc. She turned them into an army fighting a war. And she has to keep using her powers to keep them motivated.

But like with her sister, the powers have as much control over her, as she has over them. She feels empty, sad and wanting something real. At the same time, though, she feels powerful and truly herself in a way she couldn’t with Lithium. Lithium locked her up inside and made her feel less.

She loves her sadness and darkness and finds herself in it. But at the same time, she hates it and wishes she could let it go.

She invites another man into her bed, so she doesn’t have to sleep alone. But he showcases her emptiness rather than hide it. She lashes out and blames him for not saying he loves her.

He cowers but does not leave. She sees his reaction, forgives him and calls him Darling. After all, anything is better than to be alone.

Once she is alone again, she curls up in a corner. She can feel that her having these powers, and feeling this, is wrong somehow. Something is wrong with her

But she needs her powers, needs to let them loose, to get what she wants. She has to fall into this feeling and keep the fight going.

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112: ‘Me Too’ by Meghan Trainor

Fergie has led a double-life, but now the secret is out.

Luckily, it only elevates her fame. From being a bit of an outlier, she becomes a celebrity. Everyone wants to be her. And finally, she is happy with herself. She thanks God every day that she can wake up loving herself.

Fame brings admiration, VIP rooms with her friends and free drinks.

She is accepted and happy. She longer needs Will‘s friendship or Evanescence‘s love.

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Another year has gone by, Another story over, a new one can begin.

To newcomers: I start out every year with a fresh start. A new story with a new focus. It’s in the same universe and has connections to the previous ones, but it’s easier to understand because the backstory is limited to the bare necessities. Will I reuse the same characters? Will it be completely new? We’ll see.

Merry Christmas, happy new year and any other holiday taking place in the immediate future or recent past.

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98: ‘Tin Man’ by Miranda Lambert

Fergie went to Evanescence, her ex, without defences and surfaces. She did this to show that she could be real with her now, that she truly loved her. Unfortunately, it was too late. Evanescence had felt lied to and Fergie couldn’t say anything to change that.

Fergie already feels vulnerable when she has her defences up. So a rejection given to her while she’s completely open breaks her heart into pieces. It hurts so badly that she wishes she didn’t have a heart at all. She thinks about the story of the tin man who searched for a heart his whole life but never found one. She compares it to the way she faked her way through life. And she thinks that if he had known how much a broken heart feels he would never want one.

And if he wants one so badly, he can have the pieces of hers. She’d gladly take his armour in return.

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96: ‘I Bruise Easily’ by Natasha Bedingfield

Fergie has had a messy life. She is therefore deeply insecure. She has, however, hidden that from everyone. Some months ago that cost her a relationship. A woman named Evanescence was going to leave her husband for her, but then she saw one of the surfaces, Fergie put on and realised that the Fergie she knew, was a surface as well.

But this is months ago now. The husband is dead. And Fergie has had a lot of time to think. She goes to Evanescence without surfaces, without defences. She stands naked in front of her, all of her insecurities and bruises visible.

She tells her that she is insecure and is easily hurt. Even when she has her defences up, she feels the blows. So Evanescence will have to be gentle with her when she now gives herself over to her defenceless.

It is scary. This could hurt or heal her. Evanescence could love her or leave her. But if she never tries, she’ll never know how it would have turned out.

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94: ‘Two Black Cadillacs’ by Carrie Underwood

It had been a long time since Sara kicked out her married lover.

One day she gets a call from his wife, Evanescence. The wife who apparently doesn’t know that he had cheated on her, which he had led Sara to believe.

Evanescence is shocked to find out. She herself has been flirting with someone else and hidden that, but couldn’t bear the thought of him having an actual, real affair. Sara assures her, that he need not know anything about her flirting. Not yet, anyhow. She should wait for the exact right time to tell him.

Two months later they finally meet each other at the husband’s funeral. both the preacher and his brother have good things to say about him, but the two women don’t even cry. They do all things you’re supposed to do: put a rose down and throw a handful of dirt in the grave, but all with dry eyes. But Evanescence also throws down a letter telling him everything. She has not said anything to him while he was alive.

Sara sees her do it. They smile knowingly and both walk away.

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91: ‘Everybody’s Fool’ by Evanescence

Unbeknown to her, Fergie has actually had progress with convincing her lover, Evanescence, to leave her husband. She has actually begun to love her. She loves her because she is so direct, so real and honest. Their relationship was real, unlike the lie her marriage had become.

She goes to tell Fergie at one of her concerts. And she sees how Fergie here pretends to be a pretty, perfect pop star. She sees Evanescence but ignores her.

This hurts Evanescence. She follows her back stage and yells angrily at her. She mocks the adoration her pretence gives her. Fergie has everybody fooled, but not Evanescence. Not anymore. She now knows how insecure she is. Fergie has lost herself in her own lie of strength. And knowing who Fergie really is, Evanescence longer loves her.Evanescence finishes her long speech by telling Fergie that by fooling everyone else, she herself becomes the fool.

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69: ‘Broken’ by Seether & Amy Lee

The Creator Of It All, known to her worshippers as Mother Mary, helps her worshippers by appearing in front of them, when they are in need of inspiration and helping them handle their issues. However, she does not concern herself with what happens next – as long as her worshippers are happy. This does not always garner good results. This is among the concerns, her only son, Abraham, has.

Wanting to please her son, she tries to refocus and fix the world.

She succeeds in making the worst issues go away.

This is a lot of work, though. She no longer has the time to help her worshippers when they need her. They start missing her – and she misses them. But now the worst is over and she should have more time for them again. Problem is that their faith in her is fading.

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