2018, chapter 20: ‘Delicate’ by Taylor Swift (nr. 132)

This happens while Little Mix is fighting of a pushy guy and is the reason they went to that bar in the first place.

See, Chainsmoker is dating one of the bartenders. It’s very new and delicate, but Chainsmoker is smitten. She thinks about the bartender sometimes when she should be sleeping. When she looks into the bartender’s eyes, she sometimes pretends they could be a couple all the time.

And it really isn’t for the best. Her reputation has never been worse. But that just means that the bartender must like her for her.

This particular night, the bartender has invited her to this dive bar on the east side. And so she and Little Mix go there.

It’s an informal place, so the bartender is dressed in dark jeans and blue Nikes – a very attractive look. The bartender makes her a drink at the bar at the very back of the room.

The couple goes across town to the west side.

Here they talk about their relationship. Chainsmoker lets her lover know, how much she likes and wants them. They’re is in her head. She knows the couple can’t make any promises yet. She asks if it’s okay, that she admits all of that this early (the couple isn’t even monogamous yet).

It is.

They spend the evening entangled. She asks her lover to stay here. The couple stays for the night. Chainsmoker watches her lover sleep and wonders if they’re dreaming of her.

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2018, chapter 10: ‘Cheap Thrills’ by Sia (nr. 122)

When Will started dating Taylor, she seemed magical. That was because, well, she was. She had an aura of perfection that made people see the kind of girl they wanted her to be. It rose like a song inside her and made her able to control them. She learned to control it to some degree – and to use it to control men. When she danced, her control over men becomes stronger. And she liked using that when picking up men.

At its core, though, it is a curse that she has to keep in check. In a relationship, it is difficult to tell if they’re seeing her or their perfect dream girl. In order to test when it became real, she would act crazy and jealous. As soon as he realised, she knew it was real. The stronger her love, the better she was at keeping it in check.

This lead to her boyfriends breaking up with her and getting back together with her over and over again. And so it started with Will. But with Will, it became more real than ever before. After countless breakups, he became clear-headed enough to break up with her for good.

That made Taylor realise that she couldn’t lose him, so she made him feel jealous, making no use of magical control. It worked and they stayed together for years, even had a child.

But then Will broke up with her again and even cut her off from seeing her child. He believed that he did this for the child, but it resulted in Taylor following them around from a distance. Possibly because of her fading love (and thus increasing her control over him), he allowed her to stalk them.

But then, he saw her with another man and jealousy worked its own magic once again. So he confronted Taylor and promised that she could have him and their old life back.

And Taylor realised that just like her genuine love had removed her control over Will, it had put her under his control instead. She suddenly sees his generous gifts as another way to keep her docile. And she was not going to let him win her back like this.

So she stops controlling herself entirely. Like turning on a radio, the song inside her rises to new levels. She dances and takes complete control of his mind, makes him completely devoted to her. He becomes her slave. And she enjoys actively using her curse again.

Her lover, the only man she has actively tried to push away was not impressed with her actions. She can live with losing him though.

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This is now the second time falling asleep in my chair has made the chapter late. I have to realise that this is how my life looks now. So temporarily the chapter is published Tuesday morning.

99: ‘She Hates Me’ by Puddle of Mudd

Mudd meets a woman and falls in love. For about a week and a half, everything is grand.

Then he slowly remembers that he has met her before. In fact, he has dated her before. And he has broken her heart before. And she hates him for it. This is her revenge.

She doesn’t come out of the experience scot-free either, though…

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86: ‘Don’t Let Me Get Me’ by P!nk

Fergie  enjoyed going to bars way before Will seduced her into his way of partying because it was a break from her mess of a life. Never the best at anything, a teacher’s pet only in the way that she dated them, and her parents wasted no time telling her how she was wasting hers by doing everything wrong.

She let it get to her. She couldn’t stand herself and wasted even more time insulting herself in the mirror.

She did enjoy singing, so she decided to find happiness in that. But She was soon told to change everything about herself to become a pop star. So she did, but it wasn’t enough. She was just compared to other, better pop stars – and that based on being all pretty, which she didn’t want to be.

So there she was, hating her dream job. She needed a break, so she started going out to bars on her own. Here she might not be herself, but she could pretend to be more successful and have complete control of the situation.

But then Will came along. Going out with him was different. She was completely out of control, but very much herself – and loving it.

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