2018, chapter 18: ‘Sick Boy’ by The Chainsmokers (nr. 130)

Alan is a young man now. His family life is complicated and rather dysfunctional. His parents, both proud people who don’t give up, are always fighting, but never leave each other. Alan gives himself credit for that. He has kept them together by being overly compassionate towards them.

This is not normal nor healthy. This is realised by everyone around him. They tell him to get away from all that.  They lie and tell him, that he’s not actually helping them. A fairytale to get him to give up. But he knows what he’s in the middle of. He chooses to live in this prison, and just because they don’t have the guts to do that, doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t. And they overreact to even the smallest fight. They should see how bad it gets at home…

It’s not like they care anyway. They just like to watch how his family interacts and call him “the sick boy” behind his back. Suit themselves.

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2018, chapter 17: ‘Stressed Out’ by Twenty One Pilots (nr. 129)

Two girls have left society behind. Little Mix misses her childhood innocence.

Little Mix is a singer. She wishes she could do something more creative with her music. She wishes she was a better singer in general. Sing better with better words and new chord orders and sounds. Not rhyme every time. She was told that her fears would shrink when she got older, but they just turned into insecurities and caring what people think…

Sometimes a smell will take her back to her childhood with her brother at their home a stone’s throw from a creek. She can never identify where it’s coming from. If she could, she would make a candle out of it, not that it would sell. But it would remind both her and her brother of a time when nothing really mattered. She wishes she could hide in a tree house and not worry about her student loans. A lot of people probably feel that way.

Both she and her brother both wished they could turn back time to the good old days when their mother sang them to sleep. When they played pretend, built rocket ships and gave each other different names. Now the world was telling them that they needed to make money. It stressed them out. Her brother even started copying their words and repeating them to Little Mix. She doesn’t want that to happen to her too…

Rain falls on the windows as they drive on. Her face is reflected back at her in a blur. Little Mix, real name bunny, looks at herself and thinks: “I’m free now. I only have to care about what I think”.

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Chapter 16: ‘Tired’ by Alan Walker feat. Gavin James (nr. 128)

Taylor and Will have a rocky relationship. Problem is, they’re not the only people in this fight. They have a son named Alan, standing on the sidelines.

Alan is so young, that his parents think they can hide their tears from him and pretend to be fine, but old enough for that not to be true at all. Alan sees it and feels helpless. He has noticed the packed bags, that has been standing there for weeks now. It was packed at midnight, so he didn’t see who packed them.

They don’t realise what leaving would mean. So he does what he can do to love them both to remind them. They both tell him that they’re alright. He sees straight through their white lies.  But he lets them lie because then they dare to be vulnerable around him. They don’t hide.

They’re being pulled apart and losing themselves. But he can put them back together. He just has to love them and wait.

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Chapter 15: ‘Thumbs’ by Sabrina Carpenter (nr. 127)

Two girls, both going by nicknames, are driving together. Chainsmoker is driving to get away from her parents. Little Mix is getting a lift home and is thinking about her ex. The radio is playing, so they can both sit there in silence. But at some point, the radio stops. Eventually,  Little Mix’ mind is no longer comfortable a place to dwell in thoughts. Chainsmoker can no longer hide from her thoughts. They need to talk. As soon as they do, the bitterness at the core of their thoughts seeps out.

Little Mix reflects on love and how people get attached and eventually create families. Sometimes those attachments end, but then you just start all over again. That’s just the way of the world.

Chainsmoker reflects on how people go to work every day, thinking that’s all life is about and that promotions are what it’s all about. But no matter what level you work at, it’s still just working to get paid, so it doesn’t matter. That’s just the way of the world.

And so, they both conclude, the world is just sitting around, twiddling their thumbs, living controlled and pointless lives. The banks rob them and the police don’t care enough to catch the criminal who then rob the bank.

So they decide to stop to stop following the way of the world. They will not be listening anymore. They will not be heading home.

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2018, chapter 14: ‘Shout Out To My Ex’ by Little Mix (nr. 126)

Chainsmoker is giving a girl a lift. She is listening to the radio, so she won’t have to talk with her. She didn’t need to worry, though. The girl, calling her Little Mix, doesn’t want to talk either.

She is thinking about her ex. They dated for four years, before he broke up with her and broke her heart. They fought, exchanged “hate you”s and got revenge tattoos.

Now he’s apparently in love with some other chick. And that admittedly hurts a little. but She’s over it and better for it because their messy break-up. Guess she should thank him for that. Now she’s just hoping the new girl gets better sex and doesn’t have to fake it, like Little Mix had to.

Now she’ll live her life. She’s done with him. She has deleted all his pics and blocked his number from her phone. She’s not sure she loved him anyway.

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